[TTTO: “If You’re Happy And You Know It”]
If you’ve never had a penis, you’re not gay
If you’ve never had a penis, you’re not gay
Ladybeard is here to stay
You can’t trans your straight away
If you’ve never had a penis, you’re not gay
If she says she’s into girldick, she is bi
If she says she’s into girldick, she is bi
If you’re her first-ever guy
You may protest and deny
If she says she’s into girldick, she is bi
If she’s lesbian, she does not want your dick
If she’s lesbian, she does not want your dick
You may think this is a trick
It may even make you sick*
If she’s lesbian, she does not want your dick
—-
*You may substitute “And I hope it makes you sick,” depending on how vindictive you feel as you sing this.