18 January 2024

Well, we got through that stupid polar vortex. My luck is so weird. Most of the time it just seems shit, but then something major will come up and I start wondering if someone’s looking out for me. If my car had not developed a fault last month, I might have been caught out in the vortex weather. Bad for me, even with the hand warmers I still have stashed in my car.

That, plus now Dad is making noises about helping me pay for repairs. He benefits from that too, so it’s not like I’m taking and not giving back but if I hadn’t actually been here living with him, that might not have even been on the table. Well, it really wouldn’t have because likely we still wouldn’t be speaking.

It drives me nuts how much better things would have gotten if he’d had more patience and I’d been better at managing my time the last time I was here. I had an entire year of Matt paying support in 2022 and I had time to figure things out. It just goes to show it is a mistake to depend on people, and the only reason I am doing that again is because I have to. I never should have let my life go this far to shit. The problem is that once it gets past a certain percentage of shittiness it is extremely difficult to climb back out again. And when you let your life hang from people who have no patience or who have no self-control (or not enough) or who have ulterior motives that will harm you, one wrong move and you’re fucked.

Too late now. I’ll just have to make do.

Absolutely no one has called me about a job. I have a theory about that. The fact that I still have a 614 area code is likely a problem. Most homes don’t have landlines anymore, but nearly all businesses do. Do landlines still have long-distance calling rates?

It can’t be the only reason I wouldn’t get called. They also all have my email address and that’s a viable alternative to calling. But for some hiring managers it could be a big deal. I don’t know.

It doesn’t look like the place a mile away is hiring anymore. Sign’s come down.

I’m thinking about switching to Mint Mobile because what I’ve got on Twigby for around $45 a month I could get with Mint for $15 a month. I’d still pay $45, but only four times a year. I need to find out what network they use and we’ll see.

I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET TO CARRIE’S ALL FUCKING WEEK. Hopefully tomorrow. Stuff has been going on literally every damn day. If you get to read this, that means I made it there. Haha.

I finally had someone on my Facebook scold me that I should be pursuing an art career instead of “fannying about.” Thank you. No one else tells me that. Closest they get is when someone rarely wants me to do a portrait for them. And I mean, like, at a rate of once every decade or two. I am so shit at literally everything else. If it isn’t being too slow it’s being intimidated by dealing with irrational people, either coworkers or customers. I need to do what I can do. Period.

I’ll still job-hunt, but just so that when no one calls I can say I tried. But if someone does call, that’s the other reason. It’ll likely be part-time, and that works for my purposes right now.

I’m having a hard time lately with the polluted air in the trailer. Half the reason I go out on the porch is to catch a better cellular connection. The other half is wanting out of the smoke.

Okay. Need sleep.