18 April 2024

Got Ubering done today. Did not get to $70. It is not as bad as it sounds because just getting an average of $40 before gas (so, an average of $60 for the day, if $20 to gas) would get me to $120 and I need $112. It’s Thursday and I need to keep in mind that was never a hugely busy day in Columbus — not even in Dublin, where I had some of my best income. We’ll see what tomorrow and Saturday bring. I may wind up working after sunset if shit gets stupid. But today wasn’t horrible. I did have one two-dollar run but for the most part either the whole run was $5 or more or the tip took it to $5 or more. Mostly.

It was a bit over $50 today — enough of a bit that I actually did get $50 — and so there’s $30 sitting in the Credit Builder now waiting for its friends. So I need $82, minimum, over the next couple days. So that’s $61 a day for the next two days. I don’t like my fuel level, and I’m pissed off at the Murphy’s people because I was going to put $30 in the tank because I had a $10 bill. “We don’t split tender.” Well tell that to everyfuckingone else on the fucking planet, sweetheart, because just about all of them do. It wasn’t her fault, unless she was wrong about policy and needs more training. Anyway, that $10 bill went to my supper, so it wasn’t a total waste, and I got to sit and screw around on Facebook for a bit while I ate, ditto. But I’m still freaking out because I don’t know if I CAN get to $81 both days. This wouldn’t be so bad if I hadn’t glitched and assumed the 21st was on Monday there for a while. It’s on Sunday. I have to get this done by 11:59 that night. If I have to ask Dad for money, I have to get it into my Chime account well before then.

This could get Interesting. Honestly I should just do this every Thursday through Saturday and then stop at $40 total per day. Then I would never fall behind. That’s $60 a week after gas which is $240 a month which is more than I need and then I’ll likely get random bits of change from Dad as well. I usually do. The stopping at $40 a day might reduce my fuel needs, too. It will definitely be easier on my car.

Uber tells me they will be raising the Instant Pay fee to a dollar and something. It was fifty cents when I started two years ago. I am pissed. There is a workaround: I need to activate my little debit-card account they set up for me, at which point my money’s instantly available and no fees. It’s just not a good time to do the activation yet. Let me get my insurance paid first. But I didn’t want to have to take on YET ANOTHER fucking debit card account. I’ve got both the debit and credit cards with Chime, the debit card with PayPal (yes, they have debit cards again; no, you do not need a business account), that BioLife thing (not quite as functional, just holds money), and probably one or two other things. What the fuck. But if I am going to keep doing this I might as well save some money.

Dad called two or three times while I was gone. I probably should have answered, but either he was going to ask me what I was doing and then give me shit, or he was going to ask me where I was and then ask me to do something for him while I was out or, worse, drive allllll the way back for something that could have waited. Neither outcome was desirable, so I just didn’t bother. I have enough trouble earning money in this de facto third-world country without him interrupting the process.

Lo and behold, there were signs he had cooked food when I got home and he was already in bed. At least this time if he got the runs there was no way he was going to blame it on my cooking. Yesterday wasn’t the first time he’d had them after eating, but it was the first time he had an accident that he needed my help with. I suspect it wasn’t the first accident either, just the first one he had no choice but to tell me about. There have been a couple suspicious leavings here and there, like the time he dropped shit in my clean laundry load in the washer. His attempt at playing innocent afterwards when he inquired about the towel was awkward as fuck. I just played dumb.

My luck he’ll make special effort to be awake when I leave. Hope not. Just let me get on with things. I am tired of the drama. You folks see my drama here when I’m mad at other people’s drama but you don’t see the bullshit they put me through over basically nothing. If people would just fucking relax and stop trying so hard to have problems they could have prevented or else just not seen those as problems, because they really aren’t, I’d have almost no conflicts with people. They look at me funny for having hobbies and puttering. That is how you keep yourself from needing to make people miserable. Watching TV does not count. Neither does gossip, unless it is celebrity gossip, and then only if it’s positive. I am at my bitchiest when I spend more time thinking about my hobbies than actually pursuing them. I am not a mutant. Most people with hobbies are like that. People without hobbies are even worse.

Speaking of. I had finally settled on something to do for a sample drawing for my portrait-drawing listing on Etsy. It is not my first choice but I don’t know what I did with that one photo of Thea. I may never have transferred it from the photo CD to my machine. I hope that’s it because otherwise I already see some gaps in photos I should have in my files. (I came to a standstill on photo organization anyway because something fucked up in one transfer session and the filenames changed on the photos!!! I have to fix that now GODDAMMIT. I had already fixed them before!) It’s a film photo so even if I can’t find the digital, I haven’t lost it — it’s just a pain in the ass to deal with if that’s the case. ANYWAY, I had a point: I need to get on the ball with the source photo I did pick. I don’t know why I nag myself about it ever; when I put it up there, everyone will ignore it. But if I don’t try, that’s a source of potential income I’m flushing down the toilet. Plus in the process of obtaining said income, I will get lots of PRACTICE, which I have been beating myself up for YEARS for not getting. Just like not getting practice, I’m not getting younger. I need to quit fucking around with this.

The image I picked is a shot of the big man when he was in The Crew (2009, UK film, in case there’s a U.S. film by the same name). It’s in that first sequence where they’re knocking over a semi truck for its cargo. They did a nice closeup of his face as he sat in the boss’s SUV looking out the window. I wanted something with not a lot of details in it so I could get it done more quickly.

I saw a new pic of the big man today. A few actually, from the same event. I don’t know why I am suddenly seeing news about the Knuckles premiere (I don’t know the exact title and I’m not online right now). I could have sworn it was airing already. Maybe that’s just been the hype leading up to the premiere? No idea. Anyway, I was surprised big man showed up for it. Probably had to as he’s playing a major character (the Buyer, basically I think the main antagonist). He is not an extrovert, is mah big man. More to the point, I almost didn’t recognize him. He was, quite out of character for him, IN A NEW SHIRT AND SUIT COAT. There’s an outside chance his trousers are not new, but I can’t tell. (They might be from his black suit, and he’s had that one since at least 2015. And hot damn does he look fucking… never mind… in that.) That alone wouldn’t have thrown me off, other than this is a whole different look for him and creates a whole different vibe, except he also got a haircut and GROOMED HIS FACIAL HAIR WHAT THE FUCK. I have NEVER seen him do that. Either he’s clean-shaven, has that scruff thing going on that half the guys are doing now, or has gone full wild-man beard — at best, with the beard, he might condition and comb it, MAYBE trim it a bit. But not like this. He’s cut about two-thirds of it off at least and he has shaped it. And, weirdly, he’s groomed around the ‘stache. Including above it.

I said on the fansite I would not express my opinion. I will do it here because no one fucking reads this anyway.

1. This change has “wife has weighed in about wardrobe” written allllll over it.

2. I don’t like the mustache. Groomed at lipline, yes. Shaved above, no. And I can’t decide if it looks like he did it himself. He might have. No biggie: hair grows back. He might nail whatever he was trying to achieve with more practice.

3. The overall effect is “someone tried to change Rory McCann into something he’s not and it looks like he’s not sure he likes it.”

Even if it was all his idea, even if he picked everything out, even if he paid a facial-hair groomer and they just happen to suck at their job, that’s the vibe going off right now. The look is good (even with me not liking the mustache trim, them doing a better job at it would have taken the teeth out of that objection at least) and he should not be embarrassed… it’s just not HIM.

Or I’ve been dead wrong about who he is. Equally likely. I don’t know everything. I know even less about a man I’ve never met who is not my man. I like him scruffy and/or beardy and I’m sulking a little bit, mentally, that someone (or he) has cleaned him up. BUT it’s also possible that he was depressed or had something else negative going on mentally for a lot of years and maybe the scruffy reflected that and now he’s doing better, he just hasn’t gotten “settled in” with his new look yet.

And if that’s what it is then I will get used to it and learn to like it better. I don’t hate it, it just weirds me out. Familiarity will cure that. We’ll see. So show up in more pics, big man! You’ve got a whole-ass Instagram account you’re not even fucking using. (I fucking called it.) PEEKTURES. NAO. FOREEEEEVER.

Hm. I wonder if he still has that marvelous red scarf…

Sad that I know parts of his wardrobe, huh? There’s a blue buttondown shirt that I recognize because he’s worn it a lot, there’s the aforementioned black suit, there’s the blue-and-green plaid trouser suit (haven’t seen that one in years, he may have chucked it), there’s the Blackwatch tartan kilt suit that I suspect is wool (and I very much doubt he’s chucked that one), there are the black leather dress shoes I’ve seen him wear with Black Suit and Kilt Suit and, possibly, as the Scott’s Porage Oats Man — if he takes good care of them and only wears them for dress occasions then yes, they could last that fucking long — and there’s this sort of brickish-clayish-red polo-style short-sleeved collar shirt that he wore for his Hound audition and has been seen in since. I keep seeing those on repeat. I wonder what other new stuff he will pop up with. And the hat. He’s got this hat I like on him. Maybe a fedora but if not, similar style.

(Yes, I know the “wisdom” about men in fedoras. Bite me.)

(Wait, no, you don’t bite me. Big man can bite me. Gently. Nip. Mmm. There ya go)

(Wait, did I say that out loud)


I probably noticed it before and then forgot, but there seems to be a BioLife plasma donation center on Ambassador Caffery in Lafayette! One of their locations in Colubmus was where I donated plasma in ’22. Gave it up because almost every time I went in, they said my heart rate was too high. I even got turned down once for being one beat-per-minute over. I think that has actually gotten better, though. I need to call them and see whether they will allow a diabetic to donate because if yes, I’m down. I would still have to drive to get there, but I would not have to drive MORE once there, dig? I wonder if they will let me use the same pay card… if I even have it. I might have chucked it out. Eep. I would make at least as much going there twice a week as I would have done earning the bare minimum with Uber. It’s worth a shot, anyway. No pun intended — it isn’t really a shot anyhow.

I am pretty sure I have dental shit going on with my back teeth. Upper way back in the back (my) left-side molar, anyway. I have something LIKE a dental plan? But I see something in the paperwork about a $500 annual allowance. If they had to do anything more than clean, x-ray, and drill-and-fill one tooth, I think I’d be in trouble. I have to figure this out. I am not in pain, but it’s gotten sensitive. That is not a place I want an abscess to form. That’s right up under my sinuses. I’d be one sick muhfugger. Not even in the fun way. Fortunately for me, I know some tricks. It will depend on what actual damage is there. Nothing has broken off, so that’s promising. The question is will I be able to afford said tricks. One day at a time, I suppose.

Oh, okay. What tricks. The official story with cavities is that bacteria eat holes in your teeth for no fucking reason and then the dentist has to drill the holes and then fill them with mercury so you can lose IQ points to not have holes in your teeth. What’s a lot more likely to be true is that your teeth, being living organs, can be malnourished just like the rest of you and when that happens, they develop weak spots. Kind of like getting osteoporosis, except in your teeth. The bacteria batten down on the weak spots and then you wind up in trouble. But there is a period of time in between the formation of the weak spots and the development of holes when you can still solidify things back up. This actually happened with one of Thea’s permanent teeth. There was a soft spot forming and the dentist put it on watch right around the time I switched Thea and me to animal fats and from the next time we got her a dental x-ray, the dentist never mentioned the cavity again. It had mineralized back up.

So what I need to do is my old trick of AD3K2 + multimineral + cleaning up my fat intake. It works a treat. It will work even better if I can go keto because there’s some kind of relationship between your insulin levels and the health of your teeth. This is not from a mommy blog. This is from research abstracts I dug up off Google someplace. The solid bit in between your enamel and your pulp chamber in each tooth is called dentin, but it’s not as solid as it looks; there is fluid circulating in there. If your insulin is elevated, that fluid-circulation rate slows down. People with hyperinsulinism and insulin resistance tend to have shitty diets anyway, most particularly in the mineral-intake department. Wreaks all sorts of havoc. Your teeth being one of the metabolically least important parts of your body and yet excellent little mineral reservoirs, if your body needs minerals you are not giving it, they will be first to go.

Poor people don’t get cavities from LaCk Of DeNtiStS. They get cavities from starvation. Even if they’re fat, they’re not getting enough of something.

Wait, what do I mean “they.”

I wish I could say I’ve completely come to terms with my situation, but nah.

Dad got up and watched the news for a bit while I was farting around with this. I had my door closed, so he didn’t bother me. He’s now gone back to bed. I think I will do likewise (to, obviously, not back to). I need wiggle room to find the ideal time to go out the door in the morning. I was so tired when I came back, and this second wind’s only going to last so long. Ni-night.

You too, Rory. Damn it. Wanna cuddle.